George Washington To Be Replaced On Mount Rushmore By George Floyd
KEYSTONE, SD - Racial equity and advocacy groups are celebrating today after the announcement that George Washington
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Steve Blu
This is still pretty funny
Democrat Baker Sued For Refusing To Write ‘TRUMP WON’ Message On Cake
BIRMINGHAM, AL - A new front has opened in the cake wars, this time with the owner of
Too funny to not share!
https://babylonbee.com/news/john-cena-to-undergo-controversial-spine-implant-surgery
John Cena To Undergo Experimental Spine Implant Surgery
LOS ANGELES, CA - Actor and WWE wrestler John Cena announced that he will soon be undergoing a controversial new spine implant surgery after being diagnosed with a tragic case of having no spine.The s
Racist Old Man Wants People To Have To Show ID To Exercise Constitutional Right
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Old President Racist has struck again, announcing that he’s writing executive orders to put up more barriers for Americans to exercise their Constitutional rights.
Nike Factory Graciously Offers To House Unaccompanied Migrant Children
BEAVERTON, OR - Sneaker manufacturer Nike has graciously reached out to the Biden administration with an offer to house thousands of unaccompanied migrant children at their factories around the globe.
Cuomo Assures Public He Always Kept Mask On While Sexually Harassing Women
ALBANY, NY - New York Governor Andrew Cuomo apologized this weekend for his long-standing habit of sexually abusing young women he holds power over. And while that all sounds quite bad, Governor Cuomo
Its like setting the clocks ahead so you're always early.
https://babylonbee.com/news/christian-tricks-wife-into-getting-ready-for-8am-service-so-at-least-shell-be-ready-for-1030-worship
4D Chess: Man Tells Wife Church Starts At 8 AM So She'll Be Ready In Time For 10:30 AM Service
LAKE MARY, FL - Local Christian Greg Anderson has recently been having a lot of trouble getting his family to church on time. And while he realizes that his wife is 100% to blame for the family’s ta
Ted Cruz Determined Unfit To Be A Politician After He Admits He Was Wrong, Apologizes
U.S. - Ted Cruz has been universally declared to be unfit to be a United States politician after he apologized for his trip to Cancun, admitted it was a bad idea, and stated in no uncertain terms that
Heroic Ted Cruz Travels To Cancun To Lasso The Sun And Bring It Back To Texas
CANCUN - Ted Cruz is being heralded as a hero after he traveled to Cancun in the middle of the worst energy crisis in recent memory in order to lasso the sun and bring it back to Texas.The media quick
Jim Bob Duggar To Become Richest Man Alive Following Biden’s $3000 Per Child Stimulus
SPRINGDALE, AR - Democrats have proposed a new Covid relief stimulus for families of up to $3000 per child. Should this legislation pass, it would instantly make Jim Bob Duggar the wealthiest man on t
You're a total bigot if you don't! :-)
https://babylonbee.com/news/woke-open-minded-parents-bring-kids-to-local-librarys-pennywise-the-clown-story-hour
Open-Minded Parents Bring Kids To Local Library's 'Pennywise The Clown Story Hour'
BATTLEGROUND, WA - Progressive parents, eager to expose their children to new ideas that will in no way mentally or emotionally scar them for life, showed up by the dozens for this weekend’s
This is the best. Detective Andrew Cuomo Investigates NY Senior Deaths
Detective Andrew Cuomo Investigates NY Senior Deaths
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New York governor Andrew Cuomo investigates the sudden uptick in senior citizen deaths in the state of New York during 2020. Will he find the culprit?See mor...
David Hogg's new Pillow! #mypillow #notmypillow
https://babylonbee.com/news/david-hogg-invents-pillow-with-extra-absorbent-technology-for-liberal-tears
David Hogg To Release Line Of Extra-Absorbent Pillows For Liberal Tears
CAMRBIDGE, MA - Smart Harvard student David Hogg has announced he is fighting back in the great pillow war against Mike Lindell, the evil Dark Lord of Pillows.Hogg says he has found an audience with h
Time for OurPillow. https://babylonbee.com/news/mike-lindell-in-an-effort-to-appeal-to-socialists-introduces-our-pillow
In Effort To Appeal To Socialists, Mike Lindell Introduces ‘OurPillow’
CHASKA, MN - Mike Lindell, more commonly known as the
AOC Recalls How She Barely Survived Terrorists Seizing Nakatomi Plaza
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a recent video, Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez recalled her harrowing experience at Nakatomi Plaza on the night terrorists stormed the building. She describes her near-d
This is just about the state of the Nobel Prize right now. #NobelPrize #Harvey
https://babylonbee.com/news/harvey-weinstein-nominated-for-new-nobel-respect-for-women-prize
Harvey Weinstein Nominated For New Nobel 'Respect For Women' Prize
OSLO - After considering worthy candidates for the Nobel Peace Prize, such as Antifa, BLM, and ISIS, the Norwegian Nobel Committee has announced its nominees for the new
Well, is this satire or truth?
https://babylonbee.com/news/walmart-thanks-government-for-completely-obliterating-their-small-business-competition
Walmart Thanks Government For Completely Obliterating Their Small Business Competition
U.S. - In an open letter addressed to state officials, Walmart leadership expressed gratefulness to the government for inflating their sales and stock price while completely pulverizing their small bu
The definition of racism has been changed. Or has it?
https://babylonbee.com/news/merriam-webster-changes-definition-of-white-supremacist-to-anyone-who-wins-at-the-stock-market-when-theyre-not-suppo... View More
Merriam-Webster Changes Definition Of ‘White Supremacist’ To ‘Anyone Who Wins In The Stock Market When They’re Not Supposed To’
SPRINGFIELD, MA - WallStreetBets has been banned from Reddit and Discord after conspiring to make money on the stock market, even though they are unworthy of such riches. Shortly after they were banne
Love the bee. #JoeBiden
https://babylonbee.com/news/biden-sees-shadow-predicting-six-weeks-of-being-president
Biden Sees Own Shadow, Predicting Just Six Weeks Of Being President
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Shortly after being sworn in Wednesday, Joe Biden looked down and saw his shadow, predicting just six weeks of being president of the United States.Biden briefly emerged from his ba