TLAPD1

Since t'day be Talk Like A Pirate Day, I figgered I'd spin ye a yarn. Me ol' matey O'Malley tells a tale he swans be true, an 'ere 'tis ... A pirate and a merchant sailor were drinkin’ grog an’ swappin’ stories. The sailor pointed to the pirate’s peg leg and asked, “How did ye get that?” The pirate puffed out his chest and said, “Aye, ‘twas in Barbados whir I wrestled a shark and lost me leg.” The sailor pointed to the pirate’s hook and asked, “How did ye lose the arm?” The pirate stood up to his full height and said: “Aye, ‘twas near Curaçao me an’ th’ crew wuz slashin’ an’ slaughterin’ Red Beard’s men when one got in a lucky slice an’ I lost me hand.” The merchantman pointed to the pirate’s eye patch and asked, “How did ye lose the eye?” The pirate replied, “Aye, an albatross scudded by and left a gift right in me eye.” “That’s not as impressive a story as the other two…”, the sailor lamented. “Aye,” said the pirate sheepishly. “’t'was me first day wi' th' hook.”